Empty House Blues Blog

February 14, 2011... late afternoon

Now I know how Lot's Wife felt. (She must have had a first name, but the Bible doesn't mention it. Poor lady, having to go through eternity known only as someone's wife...)

Anyway, it's true... once you leave something it's best not to look back...

Who else but me, I wonder, would have agreed to do something like this?

We moved, you see. From the house we own in Fryeburg to a rental in Somersworth- 75 miles south. Last Tuesday the movers came and took everything and hauled it off to our new Rowland St residence. We settled in, I worked a few days down there, and now I'm back. Just me. - not to stay, but because I was nice enough to agree to cover 3 vacation days for a pharmacist in the north country.

Oh, they left a few things. The movers, that is. A futon, a couple chairs, a clock, and a lamp. In fact, those things still have little white notes taped to them that say, "this stays here"- a reminder to me of that day's moving mayhem.

No TV, no radio.

Just me in an empty house... I busied myself with cleaning for a while, but now I've got a few hours to kill before I put together a meager evening repast, and then leave to make my final appearance at the Conway Library Open Mic.

It's surreal. This empty house thing. My mind can't believe that all the stuff is gone. I keep seeing it even though it's not there- the kitchen table, the denim sofa, the computer desk,,, and I keep feeling the presence of my husband and daughter even though they are far away. This is really messing with my head. It's as if I've embarked on some strange, solitary, sensory deprived retreat.

And if another big glob of snow breaks loose and slides off the roof with a startling roar, I swear I'm going to run screaming from this empty house!

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February 15, 2011.... about 10:00pm

Home made soup. Oh, my God, how I'm glad I brought some home made soup. After 2 & 1/2 hours of travel, and 11 hours of work, nothing makes even an Empty House seem welcoming like home made soup. Mm. Hubby suggested that I eat out at least a few times during my exile, but I'm not sure how many restaurants are open this late, and more than food, what I long for after a long day of work is a drink. As in the brandy that I have stashed in one of the empty shelves... I'm so tired. One shot put me in a complete fog.

The snow has completely fallen off the roof by now so that torment is over, but if I open that empty silverwear drawer one more time instead of reaching for the few lonely utensils that I brought along with me, I swear I'm going to run screaming from this empty house!

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February 16, 2011... about 10:00pm

So... on the way back to Empty House, the long drive through the notch, I though how I'd blog about something bravely normal. Like how,after I managed to take an early morning walk along a couple miles of icy private road where the Empty House resides (just 'cause I really needed some exercise and I had access to neither my strength training machine and hula hoops) without slipping, I fell on the ice in the middle of North Conway after having made use of the wi-fi at my favorite coffee shop- spilling my coffee, twisting my ankle, and scraping my knees and hands...

But when I got back to my Empty House, hunger, frustration, and, I donno, stress or sorrow or the like, hit me in that order. Hunger amplified by a shot of brandy, I ate- voraciously attacking my simple fare. Then I couldn't find my phone charger, and then I couldn't undo my necklace clasp, and then I sat down on the futon and cried like a baby. And Empty House didn't mind. It didn't urge me to stop, or make me fear that me crying would make it feel bad as well.... it just let me cry, as long loud as I wanted to... Thank you, Empty House.

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February 18, 2011.................4:32pm

I was too tired to blog last night, but turns out I didn't sleep that well either... I woke up in the Empty House at 3:30am. Couldn't go back to sleep. Got up, fixed a cup of instant coffee (bleh), packed my things, and neatened up Empty House- it is going to be viewed by potential buyers on Saturday, so wanted it to look as spiffy as possible.

I hit the road by about 4:45am, headed back to Somersworth. Good-bye Empty House... see you the next time I'm scheduled to cover a north country pharmacist's vacation (unless, of course, you're sold by then). *waves bye*
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