An excerpt from "Trusting God," an essay by Garnet...
"Sometime within the next half hour a drunk driver crossed the median and hit us head-on. The drunk driver and his two passengers were killed. My husband was killed. When the rescue workers arrived they found 4 dead... and one survivor. It took rescue teams, a helicopter ambulance, and numerous emergency surgeries, but they managed to keep me alive. I don’t remember anything until about 10 days later. The first thing I remember is being told that I was in the hospital, and John was dead. I was a widow at age 25.
Everything I had, everything I lived for was gone. My future had held dreams of a life with the man I loved, but in my new life the present was filled with pain and the future was empty. The illusions were gone. I had come face to face with the reality of life on this earth. In this reality it seemed that life is brief and frail, happiness is fleeting and easily destroyed. My new life did not seem like much of a life. It seemed more like a prison sentence. Emptiness prevailed and it didn’t seem to make sense to try to fill the emptiness. What could I want with a world where all that a person possessed could be lost in a moment, in a senseless accident?"
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6 comments:
Hmmm, best think on this one before I comment, maybe feel on it.
The old adage about time healing is only partly true, for me anyway. Some days it feels like it happened to a different person in a different life, other days it is present, like new.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, your character and faith have helped you become the women you are but it's still old fashioned unfair.
Thanks, Kent. It's tempting, and it would be easy, to forget, to deny it ever happened... But it did, and it made me who I am. Scars don't lie.
As Wesley says in The Princess Bride...
"Death cannot stop True Love, it can only delay it for a little while."
That's the bit I've struggled with for nearly ten years now, moving on with a new love when the old still feels present. Hard to explain, to myself and others.
When a loved one suddenly dies, it is very difficult to cope. I admire how strong you were to reinvent your life. It is frightening how little control we have over our lives. God must have his reasons that we just cannot understand. Like the title of your essay, "Trusting God" is all we can do.
Thanks, John. Faith & love got me through... stronger and wiser.
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