Random Chaos

“Truly you have formed my inmost
being;
you knit me in my mother’s womb.

I give thanks that I am fearfully,
wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works.

My soul also you knew full well;
nor was my frame unknown to you
When I was made in secret,
when I was fashioned in the
depths of the earth.

Your eyes have seen my actions;
in your book they are all written;
my days were limited before one
of the existed.”- Psalm 139, 13-16


Dear God,

You read blogs, right? Of course you do. You know what I’m going to write before I write it.

But let’s forget that for a minute. Forget that you know which neurotransmitters are going to cross which synapses in the symphony of chemical and electrical impulses that is thought and movement in this fearfully, wonderfully made body of mine long before I do. Pretend. Just pretend you don’t know.

Maybe you don’t. Do we surprise you ever, even one little bit? Isn’t that why you created us? All of your other creations follow fixed, boringly predictable rules. Every non-living thing can be predicted to the Nth degree by a few laws of physics. And non-human animals aren’t much different- sure, they can seem to be happy or sad or even creative to a degree, but at the end of the day they’re as predictable as a box of rocks.

Humankind is another can of worms. We run on random chaos. So much variability and so many variables, so many turning points and so many choices- it would not appear that this race of clowns follows ANY rules. We just make it up as we go along. Right? Free will, right? Rocks don’t have that.

But I digress. That’s not what I want to write about right now. I want to write about this morning... I left home early, you know, so that I could wash my car before church. I rarely leave home early on Sunday- my usual MO is to fly out of the house at the last minute, and hope I turn into the parking lot just in time to get a good spot from which to make a quick strategic exit after Mass ends so I have time to grab a cup of coffee before I’m due into work... But yeah, my car. My new toy. How I LOVE to keep it clean and shiny.

So... on my way to North Conway I’m drivin’ along and thinkin’ “Hm. Not supposed to do un-necessary work on Sunday. I wonder if car washing counts? After all, I’m just gonna sit in the car while the machine washes it... not much work for me... And it’s not like I’m skipping church to wash my car...”

So... I get to the car wash. It’s fully automated- just pay, park in the bay, and a couple of magic spray wands surround the car with pre-soak, wash, and rinse, and then ‘blow dry’ on the way out. A car ahead of me was just finishing up as I ordered the ’basic’ wash.

You know what happened next, God. I don’t think you caused it, ’cause you don’t work that way, but you probably had a good laugh. It was just random chaos that made the car wash malfunction as soon as I drove in, right? All I got was one layer of soap before the machine broke. The underpaid, toothless attendant kindly tried to troubleshoot the contraption, but all I got was another single spray of soap before it pooped out again.

I had just enough time to drive into one of the manual spray bays, feed a flock of quarters into the slot, and rinse my baby off before speeding to church. And you know what the readings/homily were about? Of course you do. How possessions can control our lives. Very funny, God. James does not control my life. And you know I’ve given many times his worth to charity over the years.

So, yeah, copy and paste this into your book, OK? So you and I can have a good laugh when I go to heaven after I die. I’m going to heaven, right?
.